Ultra Trail Mont Blanc Race Report - No Obvious Major Mistakes, Just Disappointment!

Hi,

For the last six years I have been racing trail ultras.  And for the last four years I have been writing race reports here on UltraStu.  Well tonight's UTMB race report will be my last ultra trail race report for a while, as I am having a break from ultra trail racing.

I have used my race reports as part of my TOTAL training, where I have spent much time analysing my race performances in order to learn and strive to improve.  Over the last six years, I feel I have developed as an ultra trail runner, with some performances I consider being quite exceptional, whereas others have been at times disappointing.  It is just a little unfortunately that my 28th and final ultra trail race during this period of my competitive endurance racing 'career' ended up being a Did Not Finish (DNF)!  Tonight's race report should be a lot shorter than usual, as with there being no immediate upcoming ultra trail races, the need to learn to improve isn't so paramount.  So here goes!

The 168km UTMB was my number one race for 2014, having previously raced it in 2009 where I finished in 22nd place in a time of 26:29:13, and in 2011 where I DNFed at Courmayeur after 78km.  It is an amazing event, and having decided at the end of 2013 that 2014 would be my final year of ultra trail racing prior to a break, it seemed the ideal ultra trail race to finish on.  (I will come back to my decision to have a break either at the end of this post, or in a separate blog post).

My racing during 2014 had been rather mixed.  It started back in March at the Steyning Stinger Trail Marathon where I had my first ever DNF in a trail marathon after taking a fall in the mud resulting in a 'locking up' of my right leg.  During my next race in April, the 61 mile Fellsman, I ran very poorly and finish in a disappointing 20th place.  I quickly 'threw in' a trail marathon into my race schedule two weeks following the Fellsman to boost my confidence, which worked with a strong run at the Stroud Trail Marathon to finish in a close second place.  The South Downs Way 100 miler in June followed with although a fifth place, finishing in a time of sixteen and a half hours, overall I wasn't happy with my performance.  Fortunately, I managed to produce a pleasing run at the Montane Lakeland 50 at the end of July where I finished in fourth place in a very strong field with it being the British Ultra Trail Championships.  So coming into UTMB I was expecting a strong showing.

Having DNFed at UTMB in 2011 mainly as a result of getting into a negative mental downward spiral, I was well aware of the need to get the non-physical preparation right.  Establishing ones race goals I have particularly found difficult this year, and this I guess is part of the reason why I am having a break from ultra trail racing.  My goal for this year's UTMB wasn't a specific finish time or finish place goal, but more a goal of when I finished I hoped to be able to reflect back on the race and feel that I had maintained 'racing' for the entire 168km.  Obviously the intensity of racing a 168km mountainous race is lower than racing a flattish 100 miler, or a 50 mile race, however, I had the aim of wanting to maintain the race focus for the entire race.  Back in 2009, although overall I was pleased with my run, I felt that I had stopped racing at Vallorcine, which was at around 23 hours.  In 2014, could I manage to 'race' the entire route?  If I could, then a pleasing finish time would result, which I expected would be quicker than 2009, somewhere between 25:15 - 26:00 hours.  So I had a 'perfect' race time expectation of 25:15 - 26:00 hours, and formulated a schedule for the 24 timing checkpoints based on 25:15, but this wasn't the race goal.  As explained the race goal was to maintain a race level intensity, and try not to 'slacken off'.  Usually quite achievable for races lasting up to say nine hours, but for a 25+ hour race???

On a warm sunny Friday afternoon, although interrupted with a heavy shower just five minutes before the start, 2434 runners get underway. It doesn't take me long before I am in clear space and able to run at the pace that feels right.  Around the first two kilometres are on road before running along a undulating trail which is plenty wide enough to allow two runners to run side by side.  During the first 8kms before we start the first climb at Les Houches, it is all pretty comfortable, and there is brief chatter among the various British runners whom I am running near including Jez Bragg, Andy James, Robbie Britton, and Dan Lawson. I didn't have any plan to run with the other Brtish runners, it just seemed that we were wanting to run at around the same pace, probably around 200 - 300 metres back from the leaders as we go through the first drink station at Les Houches.

 The Start at Chamonix with Anton Krupicka (Headband) Directly Behind

The first climb up to Le Delevret is always a quick climb in relation to the other nine climbs.  I am working at a good level, not too high, and slowly watch the British runners move away.  I am totally fine with this as the intention was to start that little bit easier than I did back in 2011, where possibly it was just that bit too quick!  As I pass through the timing point at 1739 metres elevation (Les Houches was 1012m) I aren't aware of my position, but at the time I guessed that it would be somewhere between 50 - 70th place.  Although I wasn't really focused on a finish position, and even with the expectation that the standard of the field at the front would have improved since 2011 and 2009, I do recall feeling reasonably happy with where I was positioned.  The actual race results later show that I passed through in 71st place, in a slightly quicker time of 1:24:42 when compared to 2011 (1:25:30, 31st place).  The other British runners at this point were not in sight, having passed in the following times (places): Andy 1:21:33 (39th), Jez 1:21:56 (44th), Dan 1:22:22 (50th) and Robbie 1:22:48 (53rd).

 

During the First Climb

 

Passing Through the Le Delevret Checkpoint

The descent down to Saint Gervais is a little slippery due to the heavy rain that had started half way up the first climb.  I take it a little easier than usual being aware that back in 2011 I experienced substantial discomfort on the descent into Courmayeur.  I therefore don't get negative as around ten or so runners overtake me.  The results later show that during the forty minute descent I dropped from 71st to 83rd place.  There is a great street party atmosphere in Saint Gervais even though it is raining, and I really make the most of the positive energy and find myself high-fiving many children.

The next section along to Les Contamines is a gentle climb with the occasional short steep sections thrown in.  Including a new hill immediately prior to Les Contamines which probably adds around an extra minute or two to the race time in comparison to 2009 and 2011.  As mentioned above I had produced a 25:15 split time schedule.  I didn't have the split times written down, but I did decide to remember three of the times, these being at Les Contamines (31km), Courmayeur (78km) and Champex-Lac (124km).  I arrive at Les Contamines feeling really good, having seemed to have found my comfortable place within the field, with there being minimal changing of race position during the last hour, and I notice on my watch that I was pretty well exactly bang on my schedule time which was 3:15 at this checkpoint.  The results later show I arrived at 3:14:29 in 84th place.  The other Brits were still out of sight: Andy 3:04:19 (36th), Jez no time recorded, Dan 3:06:01 (41st) and Robbie 3:06:06 (43rd).

All is going to plan, and again I soak up the positive energy as I make good progress up to the next checkpoint at La Balme.  Up to this point of the race all had been going well.  I had felt that I was maintaining a good race pace appropriate for a 25+ hour race.  I was staying within the moment, and had been really enjoying the race, even though it had been raining now for three hours, although it had just stopped prior to La Balme which was pleasing.  I was aware that I was significantly lower down the field than I had been in both 2009 and 2011, and that I was behind the other leading British runners, but I was totally happy with all of this.  At this point I was achieving my goal of maintaining race focus, which I knew would produce the performance I would be happy with if I could simply continue to enjoy the present moment.

La Balme is at an elevation of 1698 metres, so we had already climbed quite a bit from the lowest point of the race route at Saint Gervais of 815 metres.  The next checkpoint was at Refuge Croix Bonhomme at 2439 metres.  It is during this portion of the race when things started to go wrong.  I start feeling tightness within my chest, and start to have trouble breathing.  I try to focus on the amazing surroundings, the stars above which are beginning to come out as the clouds disappear, the amazing trail of head torches behind winding up the mountain, but the discomfort from my chest is getting worse.  I have no choice but to ease off the pace in order to get to the top. 

I finally reach the checkpoint, and then try to maintain a quick pace on the descent.  I find it difficult to keep the pace up, with breathing problems with the tight chest.  I get to the Les Chapieux checkpoint, having descended 886 metres feeling pretty 'rough', after 6:30:32 of racing, now in 116th place.  Whereas back at Les Contamines I had been less than ten minutes behind the leading Brit Andy James, due to the difficulties I had experienced on the climb and descent I was now 44 minutes behind Andy!  (Andy 5:46:31 (28th), Jez 5:51:57 (41st), Dan 5:58:08 (53rd) and Robbie 6:05:16 (69th).

I decide a longer stop than usual is needed to try to recover.  For some of the checkpoints the time is recorded for entering and leaving the checkpoint, and the results show that I spent eight minutes at the checkpoint.  The next few miles are reasonably flat or at a gradient which is just that too steep to run, but easy to walk quickly up.  I begin to feel better and begin to relax as I start chatting to a runner from Japan, Aki.  I don't usually talk that much whilst racing, but I was cautiously getting back into race mode after the previous chest tightness prior to the checkpoint break, so I was able to chat a little bit. I guess we walk/run along together for around an hour, and I start to feel confident that I have got the 'bad patch' out of the way so soon into the race, so I start to look forward to increasing the intensity and gradually moving myself back up the field. Unfortunately around halfway up the long climb to Col de la Seigne (2507m) the tight chest and difficult breathing returns.  Again I try my best to remain positive and to 'push through', but I have to reduce the intensity, and the pace substantially drops and it seems to take forever to reach the top.

 

Meeting Up With Aki at the Prizegiving

On the descent I find that if I stay below a certain intensity the discomfort from the tight chest is okay.  I get to the checkpoint at Lac Combal (1964m) actually feeling okay, and with a quick stop are on my way.  As I start the fourth climb of the day, the moment I start to raise the intensity, the discomfort returns.  I have to travel up the mountain at a very slow pace.  I am beginning to feel a bit down.  From the race going so well for the first four hours, now at the Arete Mont-Favre checkpoint (2409m), 10:25:50 into the race, I am having really difficulty.  Not able to race, having to walk the climbs very slowly!

From Arete Mont-Fave there is first a gentle descent to the Col Chercrout checkpoint, then a steep descent to the major checkpoint at Courmayeur.  At first I manage to maintain a reasonable pace, but then shortly before Col Chercrout I begin to feel really rough, and am overcome by a sick feeling.  the tightness in the chest is still there, and now combined with feeling sick, I am not in a great state.  The checkpoint has a few benches to sit on, but no shelter.  I sit down and hope I will quickly feel better.  The checkpoint crew repeatedly check if I am okay and encourage me to make my way down to Courmayeir where the checkpoint is within a huge sports hall with hot food, beds, etc.  I don't know how long I am at the checkpoint, I guess around ten minutes.  As I start making my way down I am physically sick, although not much comes up!  Being sick actually makes me briefly feel better, but it isn't long before I feel really rough again, and I slowly make my way to the next checkpoint.

At Courmayeur, I pick up my drop bag, and make my way into the huge sports hall.  As I take a seat at a table, I find I am seated next to British runner Ed Catmur.  I hadn't actually met Ed before, although had seen him race and was well aware of his many great performances.  It was quite a bizarre moment as I introduced myself.  I was feeling pretty bad, and he actually didn't look that much better. (Ed had arrived at the checkpoint at 5:05am and spent 59 minutes there, before leaving at 6:04am.  So not the quickest of stops!).   I had a chuckle to myself at the thought of supposedly two of Britain's top 100 mile ultra trail runners both looking and feeling pretty rough, sitting down together stationary, not really doing anything, minimal feeding, minimal talking, both probably wondering what were we doing here in Italy at 5:30 in the morning, and for me trying to work out what is the best way forward in this race which although still a participant, I was no longer racing!

The thought of heading back out to immediately take on a 800 metre vertical climb was not appealing.  I knew that based on how I felt and the difficulty I had experienced on the last climb, that it would be very slow progress, and definitely not even close to racing!  My race goal had been to maintain race focus throughout my journey of Mont Blanc.  Due to the tight chest and difficulty breathing I had been unable to do this.  I therefore saw little point in continuing being in the state I was.  Solution? Simple, have a sleep on the secluded mats that were available behind the curtains.  For the first time ever in a race, I take off my shoes, lie down and fall asleep!

I pretty well immediately fall asleep, but stir a few times, realise where I am, and decide more sleep is required.  I'm not sure how many times I re-awake, but after around 2:30 - 2:40 of sleeping I felt that the time was right to get up.  It is around 8:15 am in the morning, and upon waking I feel amazingly good.  A quick breakfast of spaghetti bolognaise and fruit pie, and I am on my way.  I had arrived at the checkpoint in 189th place at 5:31am (11:59:43) and l left exactly three hours and two minutes later at 8:33am.  Meanwhile, just to update you on the progress of the leading Brits, who had all arrived and left before I had arrived at Courmayeur.  Their arrival times and positions were: Andy 9:41:15 (32nd), Jez 9:40:38 (31st), Dan 10:20:32 (65th) and Robbie 10:31:51 (79th).

As I leave Courmayeur, with it now being a warm sunny blue sky day, the intention was to simply enjoy myself on a casual training run along the 90km (56 miles) back to Chamonix.  I had definitely left race mode behind before my lengthy stop!  As I make good progress up the climb, running all the way along the road until reaching the single track though the woods my competitive instinct returns.  I start doing some calculations within my head, and work out that if I have a really strong run, quite possible now having slept and so turned the UTMB into a multi-stage race, then maybe a sub 30 hour finish could be possible.  The thought of achieving a 29:59 finish time was appealing, combined with the prospect of perhaps I could maintain race focus for the 'second day' of the race, and therefore go some way to achieving my race goal.

 

The Awesome Race Route Between Bertone and Bonatti

 

All Smiles as I Really Enjoy Moving Quickly - Although Walking Here as I Crest the Summit

I make really good progress up to the checkpoint at Bertone.  The next section of the race route from Bertone to Bonatti I remember from 2009 as being probably the most awesome part of the race.  It is early in the morning, along a smooth undulating single track at an elevation of around 2000 metres, and with Mont Blanc off to the left, the scenery is just amazing.  Back in 2009 I ran really quickly along this leg, and again this year I am running pretty fast and absolutely 'fly' past loads of runners.  The 7.2km leg takes me just 58:47 and I move up from 552nd place to 463rd place!  As I run pass the other runners I feel a bit of an 'imposter', in that they are doing a non-stop race, whereas I am doing a multi-stage race after my refreshing 3 hour break.  Many of you may be thinking that taking 58 minutes for four and a half miles may seem pretty slow.  Well just for comparisons sake I will compare my time to the four British runners who way back at Les Houches I was running with, but who are now many hours ahead of me.  Their split times from Bertone to Bonatti and their place at Bonatti were: Jez 60:49 (25th), Andy 62:48 (30th), Robbie 65:41 (70th) and Dan 72:54 (72nd).

Following Bonatti CP the route continues to stay up high before a zig-zagging descent down to Arnuva.  I continue to really enjoy myself running at a good pace, although begin to find it difficult overtaking runners on the narrower track, especially on the descent.  But I still manage to move up from 463rd place to 419th place in a little over forty minutes of running.  A quick refuel at the checkpoint and then it is pretty well straight into the next big climb of 756 vertical metres up to Grand Col Ferret, where we enter into Switzerland.

 

Slowly Climbing Up To Grand Col Ferret

I start the climb at a good intensity, but within minutes the tightness and discomfort in my chest returns and I start to find it difficult to breath.  I slow down so at first I am running at the same speed as the runners around me.  But then find I have to slow down even more and now are being slowly overtaken by the runners who just previously I absolutely 'flew' past.  I am not very happy.  I try to up the intensity but just can't.  The discomfort from the chest, combined with by now a rather negative state of mind prevents me from doing anything faster than actually creeping!  I decide for a 'time out'.  I move off the track, sit down and simply take a good look at the surrounding scenery.  There are glaciers, amazing sharp edged mountains, grassy fields, rivers, etc.  I think to myself that it isn't really too bad a place to be soaking up the sunshine.  Only problem being is that I was meant to be completing a running race, not just any race, but the amazing UTMB!  I get myself moving and continue my way up the long climb at a very slow pace, but I guess I must have had another three or four scenery time out stops before finally reaching the top.

Through the checkpoint and I was looking forward to the awesome descent I remembered from 2009, that descends from 2527m at the col, down to 1603m at the La Fouly checkpoint.  Back in 2009 I absolutely flew down to La Fouly with the eleven kilometres only taking me one hour and one minute.  Well without there being the urgency of racing, together with feeling pretty down about my inability to run at any pace that increased my breathing rate, it seemed to take forever, which it pretty well was, taking 2:02:27 to get to the checkpoint.  Although again I did have a few time-out scenery stops on the way down, so when I was jogging I wasn't actually going that much slower than the runners around me.

 

Feeling 'Down' Descending to La Fouly

As I slowly make my way down I decide that I would withdraw myself from the race at La Fouly.  Although the prospect of another DNF wasn't appealing, in reality I had stopped racing back at Courmayeur when I stopped for a sleep.  Over the last six years of ultra trail racing I have really focused on trying to perform to the best of my ability during the races.  My racing has always been about performing, the joy of running quickly, the excitement of being in a competition.  Here, today, due to whatever reason that was causing the problems with the tightness in my chest and the breathing issues whenever I raised the intensity, I was unable to actual race.  Yes, getting all the way back to Chamonix, to complete the 168km journey in itself is a massive achievement.  But for me, having already completed that challenge back in 2009, there just wasn't the same, 'continue at all costs' motivation.  Simply completing the UTMB just didn't mean that much to me.

As I enter the checkpoint, I take a quiet seat and spend a few moments observing what is around me.  There is noise and excitement outside with the spectators doing their best to encourage the runners.  Within the marquee it is very quiet.  There are probably around fifteen or so runners quietly feeding/fuelling themselves, but mainly you can see within their eyes that they are really focusing on seeking out the necessary energy to continue on their extremely challenging journey.  I compared myself to the other runners.  Should I really be dropping out?  Many of the other runners look in a pretty poor state.  Many looked exhausted, many looked shattered.  But mostly they looked determined, they have the desire to finish, and therefore are fully committing to doing their utmost to complete what they had started.

Those few minutes simply observing all around me did get me to start questioning whether I was doing the right thing by dropping out.  Apart from the breathing issues when I raised the intensity, apart from the 'feeling down', there was nothing wrong with me.  I knew that it wouldn't be easy, but physically I could jog slowly / walk my way to Chamonix.  I re-asked myself the three important questions:  What do I want?  Why do I want it?  How much do I want it?  And simply finishing the UTMB in order to not record another DNF wasn't the necessary answer to these questions to provide me with the important motivation to continue.

Looking back now, nearly a week later, did I make the right decision to drop?  Although many may see me quitting from the race for no apparent reason apart from 'things weren't going to plan' as really poor, as a sign of weakness, and really disappointing from a runner who has in the past perhaps inspired others.  I acknowledge this, and yes it doesn't really set a good example for others to follow.  But I guess in some ways my decision to quit reflects my overall approach, my overall philosophy that I have tried to maintain during my last six years of ultra trail racing.  This has been to try to really 'live within the moment' during the moment whilst racing.  To really enjoy the racing, to enjoy the journey, and with the destination, i.e. the finish place and time being a bonus.

Throughout my 28 ultra trail races I have focused on the flow, the rhythm, simply the joy of running quickly.  I have tried my utmost not to struggle, not to battle, not to suffer, whilst racing.  Yes, at times I have encountered some really challenging moments during many races when maintaining a quick pace has been difficult.  But I have never interpreted these moments as pain or as suffering.  They have been moments to challenge me, to test my character, to see how I respond.  In some ways these difficult moments have provided the opportunity to remain positive, to control ones emotions and to come out stronger and richer from working through the difficulties.

However, throughout these difficult moments whilst racing, the focus has always been to continue to move quickly.  I am a runner, a racer, and it is this that gives me the enjoyment.  And in pretty well all of my ultra trail races over the last six year, these difficult moments have been brief encounters, as the word suggests, just moments.  So my memories of my ultra trail racing consist of joy, of moving quickly, of feeling good.  To complete this portion of my ultra trail running journey with many many hours of discomfort, of struggling, of suffering, of moving very slowly, for me would not have been the right option.  So looking back now, I am still pleased that for me I made the correct decision.  When I think of Stuart Mills the Ultra Trail Runner, I associate with joy, excitement, moving quickly.  Pain, suffering, struggling has never played a major role within my ultra trail experiences, and for that I am very grateful.

As I started writing this post I was possibly toying with the idea of providing an explanation behind my reasons for having a break from ultra trail racing, but I think that that is best left for a future post.

Time to sign off.  I guess one of my lasting memories from last weekend's UTMB is simply seeing the determination in so many other runners as they persevered along their journey of Mont Blanc.  These runners have truly earned my respect with their ability to do their utmost in order to achieve what they set out to do.

"Challenging oneself is the first important step.  The journey continues with the commitment in order to be fully prepared, and then the joy and excitement of the experience follows.  The sense of accomplishment is a totally personal issue, and only oneself can establish the measure of success in relation to one's own wants and needs."  Stuart Mills, 2014

I wish you all the best as you take on future challenges.  Enjoy.

Stuart

PS The four other British runners who I accompanied at the start of the running journey all completed the entire circuit of Mont Blanc.  Their finishing times and places were:  Jez 24:14:17 (20th), Andy 24:45:27 (27th), Robbie 26:48:36 (54th), and Dan 28:07:40 (70th).

Rotorua Half Ironman Race Report - An Enjoyable Morning Learning More About Fatigue and Performance

Hi

Yes another blog post from hot and sunny New Zealand.

Yesterday at 6:25 am I sprinted into the Blue Lake at Rotorua and commenced my first triathlon in over 14 years.  Although it had been quite a while since my most recent triathlon, in many ways it seemed like only one or two years had past.  I'll go straight to the results and then expand a little on what I learnt during the race.

The 2013 Rotorua Half Ironman was the 15th edition of the race, and if you visit the website you will notice their 'catch phrase', "Making Triathletes Suffer Since 1999"!  As you can imagine, with my focus being on enjoyment and positivity, their theme of suffering, which I see as a rather negative term, didn't really resonate with me, but apart from that, the race organisation was superb, and the overall event was 'a great morning out'!

Standing next to me on the shores of the Blue Lake, were I guess around 300 - 350 male triathletes, with around 50 - 100 women triathletes and around 50 - 60 relay teams standing a little further back, waiting for their start, five minutes later at 6:30 am.  Opps, I was going to go straight to the result!  So 5 hours 12 minutes and 32 seconds later I crossed the finish line in a sprint finish in 27th place overall.  So what happened during those five or so hours?

As I struggled into a borrowed wetsuit, stretched on an old swim cap, and splashed my swim goggles in the lake.  During the last minute or two waiting for the start I was taken back to March 1993 as I was similarly lined up on the beach, but back then it was at the 1993 New Zealand Ironman.  On that occasion I was searching out fellow triathlete from Christchurch (I lived in Christchurch at the start of 1993 for a few months racing and preparing for the Ironman) George Hilgeholt.  George was that little bit quicker than me in the swim, so he was a good person to follow as drafting is allowed in the swim leg of triathlon.  Here today, apart from my brother in law Ken Maclaren, who is far too much faster swimmer for me to follow,  I don't know anyway else, so it doesn't really matter where I stand on the lake shore.

There is simply a shout of GO and we are off, sprinting into the lake and then straight into flat out swimming.  For the first minute or so I am really going for it, just like the 'olden days' really blasting it hard at the start of the swim to get further up the field than my swimming ability and training should allow me to be, and then simply try to 'hang on' to as many feet as I can for the remainder of the swim leg. Actually that race strategy seems quite familiar to my ultra trail running tactics.  So now I know where I developed the "race as fast as you can, while you can" approach from!  Then after around a minute I have a 'panic attack'.  The mega pace, combined with the tight wetsuit, the coolness of the water, and the frequent collisions with the other swimmers, results in me finding it really difficult to breath.  I simply have to stop swimming and just try to relax and regain my breath.  For a brief moment I thought my race was over.  The negative thoughts were immediately trying to take over "You foolish idiot trying to race a Half Ironman with two swim training sessions"!  The thought of the race turning to disaster was beginning to get hold.  Fortunately I just told myself, relax, relax, relax!  I know I can swim, I swam 1600 metres in the pool just the other day.  Forget racing, just switch to training mode and all will be fine.  So I guess after around 30 seconds tof telling myself to relax, I finally get swimming again, but by now having lost all of the quick feet to draft behind.

The swim route is two 1000 metre laps, so a total distance of 2000 metres rather than the standard half Ironman distance of 1900 metres.  I had swam 1500 metres in 29:40 at the pool on Wednesday, so was expecting a little bit quicker pace come race day, and with the aid of the wetsuit.  I therefore had scheduled 40 minutes for the swim plus transition, so around 37 - 38 minutes would count has a good swim.

As I completed the first lap and headed back out to the faraway buoy, I was tempted to look at my watch to see if I was on schedule for a sub 38 minute swim.  Since my small 'hiccup' at the start of the swim, I had settled into a good rhythm.  A smooth controlled pace without over exerting myself by trying too hard.  I therefore decide that there was nothing to gain by knowing my half-way swim split time.  It felt that I was swimming okay, and as I often say to my run coaching athletes nowadays, simply focus on the moment, during the moment, and let the finish time 'look after itself''.  I did exactly that.  I reminding myself just how great it was to be able to swim in such an amazing fresh and scenic lake.  I reminded myself how great it was that I was able to swim at a good smooth pace, after only two swim sessions.  I simply reminded myself to enjoy the moment!

I exit the water and run up the sand passing over the computer chip mat.  About two seconds later I hear my name being called out over the loud speakers.  I glance at my watch it is just over 35 and a half minutes, excellent, (official split time 35:38) two to two and a half minutes up on schedule.  The positivity is growing, I sense that feeling that today is going to be a good day!

I make my way to my bike, and have what is a pretty slow transition.  It takes me ages to take off the wetsuit, then I put on some socks as I always run with socks on, and then finally I put on a cycle jersey.  Not because it is cool, no it's actually quite warm even at 7:00am in the morning, but the cycle jersey has pockets in the back to carry a spare tube, puncture repair kit, and most important some TORQ energy bars and gels to fuel me during the next 4 - 5 hours.

The bike route immediately starts with a pretty solid climb.  As my swimming has always been the weakest of the three disciplines, my natural triathlon instinct is to absolutely attack the moment I get on the bike, and to regain the lost time and to try to move myself up the field closer to the position I feel that I should be in, not way back in the field after a weak swim.  The provisional results are available on the following web link, however it appears that quite a few people are missing from the results, including my brother-in law Ken.  However, I pasted the top 100 results into excel and did some sorting.  Out of the top 100 recorded finishers in the provisional results, I was 76th quickest.  So as you can see compared to my overall provisional finishing place of 27th, I needed to get a move on, and gain some places back.

I climb the first hill with no idea of what intensity I should be cycling at.  All I know is that I should be blasting past the other triathletes as that was what I always did when I previously raced triathlons!  I get up and over the hill and down a quick decent and start the long flat stretch past the airport.  After a few kilometres on the flat as I continue to pass many other riders, I am slowly overtaken by an old looking guy.  I guess in his early 50's.  He looks pretty fit, his bike looks the part, although to be honest, EVERYONE'S bike looked like it cost many thousands of pounds!  Instantly I revert back to my old triathlon racing days.  If anyone ever past me, no matter what speed they were doing I would latch onto them.  I immediately up the intensity and stick to his pace, maintaining the 10 metre required gap behind him.  I am loving it.  He sets the pace, I sense that I am possibly over extending myself a wee bit, but hey, this is what racing is all about.  Being within the moment, and loving it as we continually overtake loads of riders.  What will happen an hour or two later, no need to worry now.  Sort that out when I need to!  So a simple pacing strategy just keep to his pace!

We head off the main road, onto a closed ride that runs along the north edge of Lake Rotorua.  Just by coincidence, this is the same stretch of road that I have strong memories off, whilst racing my first ever road marathon as a seventeen year old, way back in 1980! (Click here to read my reflections on my first marathon).  The bike route does an out and back along this stretch, so as we (me and my pacer) are heading out, we see the leaders making their way back.  I spot one of my main competitors for the day, Ken, making his way back, and then quite some time later I spot one of my other target competitors, friend and former partner of Ken, former GB International triathlete from the early nineties Ali Hollington.  Although Ali was one of Britain's top Olympic distance women triathletes in the early to mid nineties, she is still competing at a high level as evidenced by her 9:40 finish time at this year's Challenge Roth Ironman.  (Ali had however been taking it easy since the Roth race back in July, so she was not in the same race shape yesterday.)  As Ali passes me going in the other direction, I see the turnaround point just up the road, so I am not that far behind her (although she did start five minutes after me in the women's start!)

As we start making our way back along the north edge of Lake Rotorua, including some pretty good undulations, the rate at which my pacer and I pass the other riders is slowing down.  On many occasions as we pass riders, they tend to pick up the pace and latch onto us, and then as we make our way over the undulating climbs each rider has different strengths and so the order of the pace line tend to swap.  I find that I am getting pretty excited by the way I am riding and therefore decide to leave my pacer behind and go it alone over the next set of undulations.  I shortly catch up to Ali, say a quick hello and go straight past. I wasn't expecting to overtake Ali until some time during the run.  So overtaking her so early on, I guess at around half way through the 90 km (56 mile) bike ride is a really bonus, a real boost to the already positive occasion I am experiencing.

Shortly after a decent of one of the undulations Ali re-overtakes me, and rather than immediately settling in 10 metres behind her my mind starts wandering to the big climb that is shortly coming up.  The climb is on an out and back section on the Whakatane highway.  It just so happens that friends Mitch and Foxy who lent me the bike live at the bottom of the climb.  We had stayed with them the previous weekend and I had run up the pretty step and long climb the previous weekend, so I knew that it was more demanding than the undulations we had just completed.  As if instantly the easiness of the cycling seemed to disappear.  Where as up to this point in the race, although I knew I was working at a pretty demanding intensity, it had felt easy.  My rating of perceived exertion (RPE) had been pretty high, but yet it hadn't required that much focus, what I call Race Focus Energy (RFE).  I guess if you refer to my RFE Fatigue Model, the enjoyment I was getting from racing in a triathlon again was simply rotating the RPE to RFE needle downwards.

But now whether due to no longer being within the moment, or maybe the legs were simply trying to tell me that two days of cycling training just wasn't sufficient, I don't know.  Was it a physical initiated response, or a mental initiated response.  But whatever, most likely an combination of the two, from the moment I started the long climb, the ease of riding, the enjoyment from the riding just didn't match what had taken place during the first 30 miles.  Surprisingly, this swap from cruising to beginning to struggle on the bike also coincided with cycling past Mitch and Foxy's house, where I had a very vocal support team cheering me on, including France my wife, and our two boys, Rob and Chris.  In some ways them seeing that I was performing well up to that point, as I had provided them with estimated split times and time gaps between me and Ali and Ken and I was slightly up on a pretty demanding schedule I had set, somehow meant that I could start slowing down.  I had already probably exceeded their expectations, and reflecting back now, it felt that at that moment in time I started to lower my own very high self-expectations.

Waving to my Support Team at the Start of the Big Hill Climb

The final 25 miles of the bike, to express it in a single word, would be described as a "struggle", or maybe perhaps it was getting closer to the term that the race organisers used to describe their race, I was beginning to"SUFFER".  And as it was getting more demanding, the inner voice was telling me loudly and clearly "I told you that you can't expect to perform on the bike on two training rides.  What a fool for riding so hard during the first 30 miles!"  And for the last portion of the bike leg I had to put up with this message going around in my head.  However, although the RFE - RPE needle was no longer rotated massively down, I was preventing it from rotating upwards, as my response to these negative thoughts were "No problems, it won't be long until the run leg, and then I will be in my element, trail running, and then there will be no holding back.  I will be back to blasting past everyone again"!  And so in this situation, looking ahead to the future and not staying within the present moment was a good strategy to adopt.

Nearing the End of the Cycle Leg

Just prior to the end of the bike leg, we do a little out and back, so we are able to see the runners further up the field head off for the first two kilometres before heading off-road into the Rotorua Redwoods forest.  I spot Ken probably about one and a half kilometres out from transition, and then spot Ali about 400 metres out from transition.  I complete the bike leg and as indicated by my GPS watch (GarminConnect link) that I had started the moment I got riding my bike, it had taken me around 2:53:30, so around six minutes down on my planned bike split time of 2:50 which also had to include around three minutes of lengthy transition time from the end of the bike to the start of the run. But considering the scheduled time I had given myself was a pretty tough time, considering my lack of bike preparation, my immediate response to seeing the bike split was still positive, I was quite pleased with the time, albeit the last 25 miles had been a bit of a struggle! I rack my bike, off with the helmet and cycling jersey, on with the running shoes, and I am on the way for the anticipated quick 13 mile run.

Oh no!  As I start running, the smoothness, the rhythm isn't there.  My back is sore from being down on the aerobars for loads of time during the last three hours.  My shoulders feel sore and tight, either from the awkward position on the aerobars, or from the swimming, and it is now 10:00 am and the sun has come out so it is pretty hot!  The anticipated over-taking of other triathletes isn't happening.  In fact I am overtaken my a team relay runner, who isn't running very fast, rather I am going pretty slowly.  Having learnt from my Beachy Head Marathon battle, I decide that rather than try to 'fight my way' though these negative feelings, I would do the opposite, and try to relax.  I guess a bit like what I did at the start of the swim when I had difficulty breathing a few hours earlier.  So I really focus on relaxing, but whilst trying to maintain my slowish running pace.

The route leaves the road, and as I start running along a tree enclosed, pine needled covered path, I really remind myself just why I do these events.  I tell myself "Look around you.  Look at where you are.  You are running along a fantastic forest path, overlooking the most beautiful natural lake, on a glorious hot sunny blue sky day"  "And you have got a great competitive race on your hands, probably four minutes to catch Ali (and then need to put an additional five minutes on her due to her later start) and probably around fifteen minutes to catch Ken.  Remember 1991, your change to bring the score back to 1 -1"!  So I remind myself that it doesn't really get much better than where I am at this present moment in time.

I come across the first drink station, briefly stop for two cups of cool water, and with the next section of the run including a gentle downhill to join the scenic track along the Green Lake, I really relax and appreciate the amazing scenery and finally pick up the pace.  The GPS trace shows a 6:42 mile.  Not that quick but quicker that the two previous miles of 7:33 and 7:39.  I make my way along the edge of the Green Lake which is an out and back section, so again am able to see the runners ahead making their way back.  I am conscious that I should be running at a higher intensity, but also conscious as I don't want to 'fight' my way through this amazing run course and therefore 'miss out' on the enjoyment of the run.  So I probably am just running that little bit below my usual race focus intensity.  But I am more than happy, as even at this slowish pace I am rapidly overtaking other runners, including overtaking Ali on the outwards Green Lake section.

As I approach the turn point I pass Ken running back the other way.  Ken is no youngster, being aged 52, but he is still in pretty good shape, and combined with his Elite GB International triathlon status, albeit from the 1990 Commonwealth Games and the 1991 World Triathlon Champs, 'taking him down' wasn't going to be easy!  But as he passes, his running style isn't the most fluid, and I acknowledge that at that moment in time he is beginning to look closer to his age!  So the target is there.  The Race Focus is slightly raised, but again I simple decide to stay within the present moment, focus on the now, and let the gap between me and Ken come down as a result of running smoothly, rather than worrying/focusing on the actual time gap.  I remind myself, to focus on the enjoyment of running, and the 'result will look after itself'.

Passing Through the Start / Finish 5km from the Finish

Passing Through the Start / Finish 5km from the Finish

Photo taken by Rob, the shirtless boy in the background of the photo above.

The run route passing through the start / finish area before completing one final five kilometre loop of the Blue Lake.  There is great support as we pass the start / finish area, where the leaders have already finished.  My family and friends cheer me own, and I purposely do not ask for the time gap between me and Ken.  There isn't anything to be gained by knowing the time gap.  If I catch him in time before the finish , then so be it.  But the bonus of knowing that the longer the distance to go, the greater the chances of catching him are, results in me wishing for the race to continue.  Whereas. in most races, many runners will start to 'count down' the miles, in anticipation of the finish, in the hope that the race will soon be over.  Here I was 'wishing' for the opposite, hoping that the run course was longer, and surprisingly with that simple change in attitude, there is a swing downwards of the RPE - RFE needle, and although I am still putting in the same intensity, it just feels a lot easier.  I am therefore able to up my running pace, and apart form the third mile which contained a good downhill section, the last two miles of the half marathon are the quickest, miles of the run both being 7:14 minute miles on undulating twisty trail tracks.  Not super fast, but still not too slow after five hours of continuous racing!

With less than two kilometres to go, I finally spot Ken ahead, and move rapidly past him with a quick giddaye.  I am really enjoying the last section of the run, probably the most scenic around the Blue Lake forest track.  With the increased pace, I pass probably five or so runners during the last kilometre, although some of these are runners still with the final Blue Lake lap to complete.  Just as I am all set to relax and enjoy the final 100 metres cruising across the sand to the finish chute, one of the runners that I have just past starts sprinting past me.  Well , there was no way I was going to let him get past me without a battle.  So I am in full sprint mode for the last 50 metres, but unfortunately he is just to quick for me, and all I achieve by trying to hold him off, is that my finish photo that my son has waited to take, to sell to me for some 'bargain' price, is ruined as I finish directly behind the other guy so totally obscured!

Being Out Sprinted by a Team Relay Runner

I finish in a total time of 5:12:32, a little over 12 minutes slower than my demanding scheduled finish time of five hours, made up of a 40 minute swim (including transition), a 2:50 bike (including transition) and a 1:30 run.  My official run time is 1:35:42 which place me as 10th fastest run time from the first 100 finishers.  So easily my best performing discipline in comparison to the 76th fastest swim split, and the 57th fastest bike split.  Ken finishes around two minutes later, and Ali around twenty minutes later.

Ken Finishing

All Smiles with Ali at the Finish.  Wearing my 1992 Sponsored Triathlete Race Vest!

I sub-titled this blog post "An Enjoyable Morning Learning About Fatigue and Performance".  Firstly just a morning's learning, as I had finished my race before midday.  In relation to an ultra trail race, the race seemed to simply 'fly by'.  The changing of the disciplines, does seem to make the race that little bit less demanding in terms of race focus.  I guess, being only a Half Ironman rather than a Full Ironman, so hence a much shorter duration than say your typical 50 - 100 mile ultra trail races, also results in a much shorter time racing.  What about fatigue and performance?  Well this race experience just further reinforces to me the importance of enjoyment during the actual race, and to try not to 'battle' ones way through a race.  It has reminded me of the significance of focusing on the present moment, and the end result will simply happen.

In terms of expectations, I have for many years been well aware of how ones self expectations affect performance.  But what was probably most intriguing about this race, was the unknown involved in not having raced a triathlon for many years. I simply had very little to gauge what intensity I should be swimming or cycling at.  Especially trying to ascertain what the ideal race pace was on the bike was difficult.  The term 'running' by feel, or 'racing' by feel is often used, but what exactly are you feeling?  Is it your breathing rate, your heart rate, the strain / tension within your legs, or arms or face?  How does one 'feel' the ideal pace, the ideal intensity?  And the following question, what exactly is fatigue?  Well as Tim Noakes described within an interesting article last year; "Fatigue is a brain-derived emotion".  And with it being an emotion, fatigue is therefore highly responsive to ones state of mind, including ones self-expectations, the need/desire to perform, and the level of enjoyment / excitement at the present time.  If one gets these aspects right then ones performance can be so much closer to the overall limit of performance which is set by the physical / physiological mechanisms.

Did I get these important aspects right yesterday during the Rotorua Half Marathon?  Well not exactly.  During portions of the race, I feel really happy with how I performed, but then during other portions of the race, my mind wasn't in the ideal place, and my less than ideal thoughts distracted me from getting closer to my capable physical limit.  When I am asked why am I still racing, why do I still get the enjoyment from racing, the excitement from the competitive environment.  I guess one of the main reasons is that I am still learning.  Even after 35 years of endurance sport, I still have much to learn.  And my brief venture back into the triathlon world has reminded me of the progress I have made in terms of discovering the determinants of performance over these last 15 or so years since I was previously a triathlete.

Do I have any plans for any future triathlons?  Well not for 2014, as I have still have so much to achieve within ultra trail racing.  So big things are planned for 2014, but that is for another blog post.

Time to sign off;  "Enjoyment from racing can result from a pleasing performance, but perhaps the satisfaction gained is possibly largely a result of a greater understanding of what it is within ourselves that enables us to firstly to challenge ourselves, but then to raise up, as one strives to meet these demanding expectations."  Stuart Mills, 2013.

May you feel satisfied with your performances,

Stuart

IAU World Trail Championships - Connemara, Ireland - The Importance of Enjoying the Journey

Hi, welcome back,

Tonight I will hopefully describe last weekends great experience of running for Great Britain.  It could be another ultra effort!  I think I will start with a little bit of background first.  Not back to when I joined Hutt Valley Harriers as a 14 year old, that can wait for another day, but back to around November last year.

(I have come back to the start of this blog post after finally reaching the finish.  Yes, this post is an ultra effort!  I wouldn't recommend it, but if you were a bit short of time and wanted to skip the first section on having a plan, developing goals, etc. then you could go straight down to the bit in red where I state (Possibly start here at the start of the GB International Experience in Connemara). Only a suggestion, but be aware that you would then only get half of the message!)

It was around November time that I was planning my race calendar for 2011.  I had tried to get into the British team for the 2nd IAU World Trail Championships that took place in France in 2009.  The selection race was the 2009 Highland Fling, but unfortunately I ran off course, and only finished in 10th place.  So one of the aims for 2011 was to make another attempt to represent my new country of Britain, since moving here from New Zealand way back in 1990.

The 2011 Highland Fling race back in April also didn't quite go to plan, having a few 'tough' patches, which resulted in finishing in only 6th place, when trying to qualify for a likely GB men's team of only five runners!  Apparently Jez Bragg (2nd in the Fling) was unavailable for the team, I guess due to Western State 100 commitments, where he produced a tremendous 4th place performance.  So maybe there was some hope for selection.  Detailed selection criteria was published on the UK Athletics website, stating that other relevant performances, especially at International level, would be taken into account.  I thought that my wins at the Lakeland 100 and the Hardmoors 55 races in 2010, combined with my 22nd place at Ultra Trail Mont Blanc back in 2009 may assist me in my selection credentials.  Fortunately, my past results were taken into consideration, as although Jez was not in the GB team, Craig Stewart, who didn't run the Fling but who had run a very impressive winning time of 7:01 at the Anglo-Celtic 100km Plate back in March, was added into the team.  So, my inclusion into the five man GB team meant that the Fling fifth place getter Matt Williamson didn't make the team.

When I first found out I was selected for the GB Team, to my surprise there wasn't any elation.  In fact, there was a lack of joy of finally being selected to represent my country.  Instead there was the doubt, and even some guilt that I had been put in the team ahead of Matt, who after all had beaten me in the selection race.  Did I deserve to be in the team ahead of him?  I had never raced Matt before, and didn't know what his running credentials were, but yes, my initial response to being selected was, did I deserve my place!

So firstly I had to deal with these rather negative thoughts.  I re-read the UK Athletics selection criteria, confirming that selection wasn't all based on the Highland Fling selection race, and began to accept that if the selectors felt that I was worthy of selection, then I should feel the same way as well!  Next, then came the doubt regarding my ability as I had only just 'scrapped' into the team as the fifth member.  This was visibly reinforced when the team announced on the UK Athletics website wasn't listed in alphabetical order, but in clearly a ranking order, with Andrew James (winner of the Fling) at the top, and me right at the bottom!  How far behind would I be as the fifth member of the GB team?  How many out of the 84 men's field would I beat?  Maybe one or two, maybe ten?  The positivity just wasn't there.  A really strange feeling!  After achieving probably the greatest thing I have ever achieved in terms of my running over the last 34 years, UltraStu was definitely not feeling very Ultra!

Fortunately, upon hearing of my GB selection, there was still around seven weeks to get things sorted!  Within my posts I often talk about the importance of TOTAL preparation.  The situation I was currently in was definitely going to require immense levels of TOTAL preparation, i.e. both the mental and the physical!  So over the next seven weeks I spent substantially more time mentally preparing for the 70km trail race, than physically preparing.  Back in New Zealand I recall there being criticism often against NZ Olympic athletes for treating being selected for an Olympic team as their 'gold medal'.  And when it actually came to them performing in the Olympics, because they had already achieved their goal of going to the Olympics, their performances tended to be below standard.  I did not what to be in a position where I felt people could criticise me for this.  What performance would therefore be needed then?  I had no idea how strong the field would be, so it was difficult to think about achieving a specific race finishing position.  The idea that perhaps I wasn't worthy of my place still lingered in my mind.  Therefore the first goal was established.  I was clearly, as listed on UK Athletics, as the fifth member of the GB men's team.  If I could beat one of my other team members, then I would have proved to myself that my place in the team was justified.  Great, I was on my way to a good race performance.

Next step within my preparation, was the actual team race competition format.  The team finishing positions would be determined by the cumulative time of the first three finishers for each country.  So being fourth GB finisher would maybe justify my position in the team, but it would not actually contribute to the GB team position.  My fourth position in essence would be worthless!  Isn't it amazing just how easy it is for negative thoughts to take over!  TOTAL preparation is needed to deal with these thoughts!  So great, my goal was upgraded.  Fourth GB finisher was no good, it now had to be third!

As I was working through all of these issues, I was still doing some physical training, but in terms of factors that would influence my race performance at the Worlds, the physical training was insignificant.  What was very significant though was my strong and comfortable performance in the 35 mile Northants Ultra Shires and Spires race.  Winning quite easily, but most importantly taking 25 minutes of Andrew James's equal course record.   Remember Andrew was the chap that won the Highland Fling selection race.  Now I know conditions can vary between years, and I know that he may have got lost, or just been doing a gentle training run, but, I managed to convince myself that no matter what, even taking into account all of these possible explanations for Andrew running so slowly in his 2009 win, that me beating his time by 25 minutes was clear evidence that there was a possible chance that I could beat him in the Worlds at Connemara.  Now another possible goal was added.  Could I actually finish as the first GB finisher?  Yes, no longer, am I thinking about 'scrapping' into the team, and not being worthy of a place in the team.  Within a few weeks I had turned that around to believing that I could actually be the top GB finisher!

Now, I was feeling a million times more comfortable about being in the GB team, however, the thought that all my goals were based on beating my team mates was rather disturbing.  The focus should be on beating competitors from other countries, not on beating my team mates.  I should be encouraging, supporting my team mates.  This was not possible with my current goals, so I began to give serious thought to how many of the 84 male competitors from around the World I could beat!  You can't just pick a number out of the air, there must be a rationale, some form of evidence to justify the number.  What evidence, rationale did I have based on competing at the World level?  And then Eureka!  My Ultra Trail Mont Blanc performance from 2009, where I finished in 22nd position.  UTMB is often talked about as the strongest ultra trail race in the World.  So simple logic followed that if I could finish in 22nd place in UTMB, the 'strongest' field in the World, then there should be no problem in finishing in 22nd place at the IAU World Trail Championships in Connemara, Ireland.  Great, as simple as that!  A new goal which I felt alot more comfortable with, rather than trying to beat my GB team mates.  Yes, the goal was now to finish in 22nd place or better.  This goal further confirmed that I was more than worthy of my selection as I am now in the top 25% of the field, absolutely miles away from the tail end of the race, significantly far away from finishing near last!

The 'mental' preparation was nearing completion.  Whilst doing this extensive preparation, I continued my relaxed and rhythmical 'physical' training, although it did include a 42 mile Trailblaze run, see my Trailblaze post, and also 28mile, followed with 16mile Lakeland recce runs.  So my TOTAL preparation was TOTAL, I wasn't ignoring the 'physical', just giving it the reduced importance it demands.

The last part of the preparation was to determined my race strategy.  How fast would I start?  The answer should have been obvious, "Run as fast as I can , while I can!"  But the thought of going out fast at the start of the Worlds, leading the actual race, just didn't seem realistic.  These guys I would be racing against would be some of the best in the World!  Yes I had managed to get myself to  believe that I could finish in the top 25% of the field, but to be at the very front, that was not quite within my belief!  So for around 2 - 3 weeks I had this dilemma.  Then two weeks before race day I delivered my 95 minute presentation at the Lakeland recce weekend.  I spoke about the importance of knowing what success in a race means to you, the importance of having a clear plan, the importance of positive self expectations, and most of all the importance of enjoying the journey, not just focusing on the destination, i.e. the result.  So here I was, having spent the last 4 - 5 weeks thinking about the destination, i.e. my result I would achieve at the Worlds, without actually giving any though to the actual journey!  It all suddenly came clear, the new goal would be to simply run to my full potential, run with honest commitment, and most importantly to fully enjoy every single moment of not just the actual race, but the whole GB experience!  As simple as that!

So with the simple goal to commit fully to the race and to maximise enjoyment during the race, the race strategy also became totally clear.  Stick to the UltraStu philosophy "Run as fast as you can, while you can!"  If that means I head off out into the front leading the World Champs, then so be it, that is where I belong to be, leading the race!

WOW!!!  It always amazes me just how by sitting at the computer totally on my own, late at night, just how my thought patterns become clear.  I think that this blog, that I have now been writing for since March last year, has clearly been a significant factor in my improved race performances.  It just provides an ideal opportunity for quality reflection, to really learn from past performances and about oneself.  So please excuse me, if my posts are rather lengthy, but they need to be that length in order for me to get things clear for me!

Maybe I should stop this post here, as it is already pretty lengthy!  But hey, lets really test your ultra endurance qualities!!!

(Possibly start here at the start of the GB International Experience in Connemara)

The Great Britain Team experience started as I arrived at the check in desk at Gatwick airport.  As I arrive at the RyanAir check in I recognise Allen Smalls, who I had raced on a number of occasions.  Allen introduces me to Craig Stewart, and immediately I have a great feeling.  They are both so welcoming and friendly, and the lingering thoughts from seven weeks earlier regarding my worthiness of my position within the GB team never had a chance to surface.  Shortly later Andrew James joins us, and then Anne Wilson the Team manager, and Norman Wilson an official from the IAU, also arrive, and the really positive inclusive feeling continues.  Throughout the weekend, as I get to meet the other members of the GB Team, this really strong supportive inclusive bond is totally evident.  I think this supportive, encouraging environment from within the GB Team was a major factor in influencing the level of my performance in the race, especially considering where I had started at, in terms of such negative thoughts about my involvement within the team, just a few weeks earlier.

After a rather lengthy journey, we finally arrive at the village of Letterfrack, which is the race centre.  Within the village green, a large marquee is set up, where all the athletes are fed during the weekend, and there are many athletes walking around the village.  Immediately I am totally buzzing!

The level of excitement continues to rise on the Friday, the day before the race, as I get to meet a number of athletes from other countries who I have been in e-mail communication with leading up to the race.  Walking around the village in official GB Team kit, and seeing all of the other athletes similarly walking around in their team kit, really adds to the occasion.  We have a team photo taken (see below), although team member Julian Rendall, and Assistant Team Manager Andy Smith aren't present as they don't arrive to later on Friday evening.  There is an excellent opening ceremony where all of the athletes from all twenty countries are introduced up on the stage.  There is good quality food and excellent conversation within the marquee.  Our race feed bags for the three checkpoints are dropped off, and it is then back to our self catering cottage to try to get some sleep.

Team GB Back row from left: Anne Wilson (Team Manager), Craig Stewart, Stuart Mills, Allen Smalls, Andrew James.  Front row from left: Karen Rushton, Adela Salt, Heather Foundling-Hawker, Lucy Colquhoun.

The race is scheduled to start at 7am in front of Kylemore Abbey, about 5km from Letterfrack where we are staying.  We are bused out to the start at around 6:15am, and as the time gets closer to the race start, I am not one single bit nervous.  My TOTAL preparation has gone well.  I have a clear plan, a clear race strategy, with the goal to have total enjoyment every single moment during the journey.  The actual destination will arrive in due course, whether I achieve any of my initial goals mentioned above are secondary to the number one goal of enjoyment.  However, I have learnt from previous experiences, that if the commitment is there, the effort is evident, and most importantly the enjoyment is present, a desirable destination often results.  So confidence is high.  Focus on the enjoyment, and the performance will come!

The complete GB team get off the bus and wander to the start area.  We have a bit of spare time, and there is a sort of 'hanging around' feeling.  I decide that I need to focus on my own, not because I am nervous, or not enjoying my fellow team mates company, but my plan is to treat this race just like any other race, where I don't have team mates around me.  So I head off on my own, doing a little bit of warming up, stand in a lengthy queue for the toilets, chatting to other runners, just like any usual race.  With around ten minutes before start time, I return to the start area, fully prepared, totally excited about how the race will unfold.  Throughout the entire time leading up to the race, within the GB team there has been a tremendously supportive environment and everyone is wishing each other a good performance.  Within the team we haven't talked in any detail about specific strategies, but when the talk of my usual fast start approach is raised, I don't discard it, so there is an expectation, from some team members who are more aware, of a fast start from me.  I find this expectation, their acceptance of my fast start reassuring.  Maybe they did think I was a little crazy giving the fast start a go, but because they never expressed any negativity or doubt towards it, I accepted that as positive confirmation that all was fine, a good strategy to adopt.

The 130 runners, including around 20 within the open event, gather beneath the start banner.  A helicopter with a camera crew hovers above.  The men's GB team are gathered together, and what was a really significant moment of the whole weekend, I wished my teammates the best of luck, and I moved away from them towards the head of the gathering field.  As a result of my extensive TOTAL preparations, I felt that my place on the start line was deserving of being up at the front, ahead of all of my GB teammates.  Absolutely amazing, considering that on paper I had just scrapped into the team!  In that one moment, there was confirmation that I was not there 'just to make up the numbers!'

There is a countdown and then we are off.  I am stuck behind a few runners as I wasn't absolutely on the front line.  After around 200 - 300 metres I manage to work my way out of the pack and I hit the very front.  Just like any other race, except you don't usually have a quad bike with a TV camera focusing directly in on your face, only about a foot away!  I ask myself is this really the best thing to do, I move across to the left of the track as I hesitate and then rejoin the lead runners as we move away from the large bunch.

During races I try to focus on myself so I very seldom look behind.  So as three of us move away from the bunch, I don't know how far back they are, but it just begins to feel like a significant gap as it gets quieter.  Absolutely amazing, here I am in a tiny bunch of three, out in front from the rest of the field, not at a local club race, but at the IAU World Trail Championships!!!  It just doesn't get any better than this, absolutely unbelievable.  But the best thing of all, I am feeling totally comfortable.  The first 5 kilometres are flat.  I don't know what pace it was, but whatever it was, it felt really relaxed.  I let the other two runners move away from me, not really because I couldn't keep up, but more due to a lack of self belief regarding my current position within the field.  As we reach the village of Letterfrack after 5km I am probably around 70 - 80 metres behind the leading two runners, and maybe around 30 - 50 metres ahead of the remaining field, but as I never looked behind, I just don't know.  I will have to wait until the 30 minutes TV feature on the race comes out on Channel 4 on a Sunday morning in around four weeks time to see just what gap I had on the rest of the field.  Maybe it was only 10 - 20 metres, it didn't really matter, I was just totally enjoying every single moment of the journey so far!

We reach the start of the 400 metre climb up Diamond Hill which we navigate twice within a 7km loop, before we commence the 26km journey out, before turning and returning 26km back to Letterfrack, but fortunately not re-climbing Diamond Hill.  As I start the climb at a steady pace, it isn't long before runners start to overtake me.  I am strongly aware of the importance at this exact moment of the race.  I must keep the positivity strong.  I must not allow being overtaken to be a negative, it is a reality, after all it is the Worlds.  But I remind myself that I am finishing in the top 25% of the field, so I need to be observant of just how many runners go past me.  I up the intensity to slow the rate of being overtaken, it only slightly slows the rate down.  The key decision of the race is made at this moment, stuff any concern about overcooking it, stuff any cautiousness, this may be my only every chance of running in a World championships for Britain, remember the goal, enjoy yourself.  So I significantly increase my intensity and decide that no one else is going to pass me.  Unfortunately due to an IAU rule banning GPS watches I am not wearing my GPS/Heart Rate monitor, so I will never know what heart rate I reached.  I don't know exactly how long the climb was, probably around 10 - 15 minutes, but all I know that for the last two thirds of the climb I was near maxing out!  I got to the top with a tiny bit of worry that I would have to repeat this maximum effort again in less that 15 minutes time on the repeat climb of Diamond Hill, but this worry was totally overridden with the real joy of running to my maximum, still reasonably near to the front, amongst some of the best runners in the world.

We pass over the very top of the hill and run around the side, descending back down to the race village where we pass through checkpoint 1 at 12km.  As I am running with an inov-8 waist pack which holds a 500ml drink bottle I don't need to worry about getting anything from the checkpoint,  Within my waist pack I also have the compulsory whistle, borrowed from my son Chris, and the fantastically light and extremely compact Montane Slipstream GL Jacket, as a wind jacket was also compulsory.  I also have seven High Five gels,  two Cliff Bars, (no I'm not sponsored by either of them!), some flap jack from my University cafe, and my 'emergency blanket' being some chocolate covered coffee beans.

To my relief, the second climb up Diamond Hill is substantially slower than the first time.  I am running at a reasonably hard pace, but nothing too stupid for a 44 mile (70km) ultra race, unlike 20 minutes earlier!  I actually overtake 2 - 3 runners going up the hill and begin to feel that I have found my 'natural' position within the field, which I sort-of felt was around 20 - 25th which the results later confirm, being in 25th place at the 12km checkpoint.  After we descend Diamond Hill for the second time, we have completed 19km and we start out on the out and back section of the course.  Throughout the first 19km there is no sign at all of my GB team mates, or any of the Irish guys who I had met before the race.  Yes indeed everything was going to plan.  I was enjoying myself thoroughly, and as often occurs if the enjoyment occurs whilst being 'in the now', then somehow the destination goals just happen by themselves!

It doesn't seem long before I reach the next checkpoint at 28km.  To get there, there has been a mixture of terrain, including some pretty boggy fields and some steady gentle gravel road inclines.  As I exit the checkpoint, simply picking up a water bottle from my drop bag, leaving the other contents for the return journey, I am running within a group of around 4 runners who are then joined by Dan Doherty from Ireland.  It is nice to see a familiar face, so I start chatting to him about the course we have covered, whether he expected to be the leading Irish runner etc.  I could see that Dan was really focused and concentrating so wasn't really in a talkative mood, so rather than running quietly next to him, I decide to increase the pace slightly and slowly move away from him.

I am now totally comfortable with my position within the field, although some runners slowly overtake me, I am also slowly overtaking other runners.  This continues like this for a while, first along a gravel track for around two miles passing through some woods, before the serious climb to pass over the 729 metre summit of Benbaun Mountain.  The climb at first isn't that steep, but the boggyness of the ground makes running rather difficult.  Then just as the bog stops, the gradient substantially increases.  I am working really hard making my way to the top, both overtaking runners and being overtaken.  As I start the drop down the other side, as I pull by foot out of some mud, by heel comes out of my shoe.  I had tightened my laces of my inov-8 Roclite 295s that little bit tighter today to prevent this from happening, so it was impossible for me to get my heel back in.  I have no option to sit down on the ground, untie and retie my shoe laces before getting back into the race.  Although, I lost three places while sitting down, I vividly recall now that I didn't get one tiny bit angry.  It was really strange there wasn't one single bit of negativity, I remained totally positive!

The drop down of the mountain was first rocky, before getting even steeper down over slippery grass slopes/tussocks.  It was probably the steepest terrain I had every tried to run down.  Again it didn't seem long before I reached checkpoint back on the flat at the 40 km mark.  The photo below was taken shortly before checkpoint 3 at 40 kilometres.  A quick top-up of Coca cola and water, and I was on my way.

The next section was a reasonably flat 4km over mainly gravel tracks but the occasional firmer footing grass.  It was a good opportunity to get back into a good quick running rhythm.  I was looking forward to meeting the lead runners so I could establish my position and also how far behind I was from runners in front, but also how far behind other runners, including my GB teammates were, who I still hadn't seen!  The lead runner is a really fit looking guy from Canada.  In fact pretty well all of the runners looked extremely fit.  I check the time on my watch, which I recall showed 4:04, and then at the 44km turnaround, reached at 4:11, I calculate that I am around 14 minutes down.  But the really surprising and exciting revelation was that I am in 13th place!

As I start the return journey, first the 4km back to checkpoint 3, I am wondering just how longer it will be until I meet Dan from Ireland again, and then my GB team mates.  It is only three minutes as I meet Dan still heading out to the turn, so he is around 6 minutes behind.  Then it is another additional five minutes before I encounter Julian Rendall, so around 16 minutes behind, and then shortly after I meet Allen Smalls closely followed by Craig Stewart.  There is sincere encouragement exchanged between us as we pass each other.  I am feeling pretty good, the results later show that this 8km flattish stretch between the checkpoints 3 and 4 was my best section, running the 6th fastest time overall for this section.  It felt like I was running strong, and so I pretty well knew then that I wasn't going to lose 16 minutes to runners behind me.  This was really great, as it meant I could forget totally about the destination, in terms of thinking where I would finish, whether in front of my GB teammates.  I could go back to simply enjoying every moment, and a totally positive approach was definitely what was required in order to re-summit the even steeper face of Benbaun Mountain.

As I start the the climb back, rather gentle at first, my positivity is further increased, as I meet Lucy Colquhoun, a member of GB women's team.  During the previous two days I had really enjoyed Lucy's company and she is an absolute ball of positive energy.  She is quite small in size, but the amount of positive energy she radiates out is huge!  Although she has just transversed over an extremely demanding mountain, you wouldn't know it, she is all smiles, and there is a great cheer as we see each other, and then we high five each other as we pass.  She has really got the 'enjoy every moment' race strategy sorted! 

As the climb initially gets steeper, I start getting really excited as there are 5 runners running reasonably close together, who all of a sudden are less than 200 metres ahead of me.  (Although the closeness of the group was actually due to the steepness of the climb.  They were probably still two minutes ahead.)  I begin to subtract 5 away from 13, my current position.  A position of eight is the answer.  This seems totally unbelievable, and looking back now, I think that this calculation was the start of me slowing down.  The focus returned back to the destination, rather than the journey, and then instead of getting a positive response for the eighth place, it was more like a negative response, in that a top ten finish was just not possible.  I must have gone too hard, I'm bound to 'die', I better run cautiously to protect this good race position I am currently in!  Yes, looking back now, it just shows that my preparation wasn't totally complete.  I needed to ignore thinking about race finish placings and needed to get back to the present moment!  I did in brief patches, but not like the totally continuous 'being in the now' that had occurred throughout the first nearly five hours of the race!

Just as I reach the top of the climb, where the gradient flattens out, I am overtaken by Dachhiri Sherpa, previous winner of UTMB, and 2nd place finisher in the previous IAU World Trail Champs back in 2009.  I simply accept that he is better than me and that he should be ahead of me, rather than relishing at the opportunity to run alongside such a great runner!  A second runner, this time from Argentina overtakes me, good he is perceived as a 'nobody' like me, so I decide to stay with him.  We make our way reasonably close together down over some rocks first, then some firm grass, then some bog, before getting onto the flatter and slightly downhill gravel track though the woods to checkpoint 5 at 60 kilometres.  I am met by a really positive, enthusiastic, but totally professional Andy Smith our Assistant Team Manager.  He is all prepared and has my contents of my drop bag ready for me.  He has a really good manner, saying the right things, giving off loads of positive energy.  I rapidly drink some Coca cola, and then we run out of the checkpoint together as I drink most of the contents of a water bottle, with the remainder going over my head, before handing the bottle to Andy so as to not litter the countryside.  Throughout the day the temperature had been ideal. Not too hot, even though the sun was frequently out, but with a cooling breeze up on the mountain tops, but not too cold that I needed to get out my 'flash' Montane jacket.

I depart the last checkpoint with the chap from Argentina directly on my tail.  For the next 15 - 20 minutes he exactly follows me over the grass fields and then up an extremely demanding boggy uphill section.  Whenever I briefly slow to a walk, he walks behind he,  When I recommence running, he does the same.  We climb over a stile onto a gravel road, for a slight gentle downhill and then some undulations for the next 3 - 4 kilometres.  He immediately attacks and runs away from me.  I am unable to stay with him, mainly because I begin to focus on the finish and my 15th place.  I soon reach a 5km to go sign, and for the first time during the race I look behind.  I have a clear view back along the gravel road for around 2 kilometres, there is absolutely no one in sight.  This has a slowing affect on me, as there is simply no reason now to run hard, as by now with only 5km to go, my focus is solely about the destination, rather than the journey.  I do what I 'preach' to others not to do.  I start counting down the kilometres to the end!  Again illustrating how my preparation was not complete.  This should not happen.  I should be better prepared than this!

The course leaves the gravel road to cross around two kilometres of fields, before the final one kilometre gentle descent along smooth paths down to the finish.  As I make my way up the final small climb I ask one of the I think around 60 Army guys who have been fantastic at marshaling the course, whether there is anyone in sight.  He confirms, absolutely no one is visible, so as I drop down into the village, passing many walkers I take in all of their acknowledgements, and simply enjoy the remainder of this most amazing journey wearing my first GB vest.  I run around the village green and cross under the finish banner in a relaxed and very satisfied state, in a time of 7 hours 10 minutes and 42 seconds, in a finishing position of 15th place.

I am welcomed in by Team Manager Anne and she is really pleased for me.  The TV cameras appear and I am interviewed.  I have no idea what I said, all I can remember saying are words like, fantastic, great, awesome!  As although there were times during the race that I lost the 'being present' enjoyment state, these moments were quite infrequent.  So overall I was extremely pleased with my performance!

Six minutes after I have finished, Julian is the next runner to finish, in 16th place (7:16:50), shortly followed by Dan from Ireland in 17th place (7:19:18).  Julian had pretty well run an exact opposite strategy to my fast start, and was really running strongly right to the finish, overtaking loads of runners coming back for the turnaround point.  You can access an excel file where I have analysed the results a bit by clicking HERE.  There were timing mats at kilometre distances of 12, 28, 40, 48, 60, and at the finish.  My race position at the 6 points in the race was: 25, 17, 12, 13, 14, ending 15th.  Quite a contrast to Julian: 48, 40, 34, 27, 19, ending 16th!  This simple data just confirms that there is not one race strategy that fits all!  You have to experiment and learn, discover what strategy works best for you!  There is some good banter as I suggest that Julian should read my UltraStu blog, as if he had started faster, he would have finished heaps higher up.  He doesn't agree, he is totally confident in his approach, and that is really all that matters.  The take home message here is that whatever you do, you must have the belief that it is the best approach for you!

Allen Smalls is my next team mate to finish, in 29th place (7:39:47), then Craig Stewart in 35th place (7:47:00).  I learn that Andrew unfortunately had to pull out of the race, due to aggravating a hamstring injury.  An extreme disappointment for him, as well as being disappointing for the whole team, as I have mentioned earlier, there was a real genuine sense of camaraderie within the GB team.  There is equally disappointment as I discover that Karen Rushton, a member of the GB women's team, also has had to withdraw from the race.

However, the whole GB team gets the great news that Lucy has moved into 3rd place and she isn't too far away from finishing.  A few minutes later, she appears in the finishing straight, still a total bundle of positive energy, complete with a massive smile.  She crosses the finish line in 3rd place (42nd overall) in a time of 7:57:20, and there are hugs all around.  The entire GB team share the enjoyment of her success!  The runners continue to finish over the next few hours, with the demands of the course being clearly evident on many, with most runners totally covered in mud.  However, what I have found common at ultra trail races, although the course is usually mega demanding and really pushes each and every runner to the limit, within minutes of cross the line, the amount of positive energy that is evident amongst the runners, totally belies just challenging the race has been.  The other two runners of the GB women's team, Adela Salt and Heather Foundling-Hawker finish in 18th (90th) place (9:36:40) and  24th (103rd) place (10:38:24) respectively.

Well, I have finally made it to the end of my IAU World Trail Championships race report.  I think the excessive length of the this report is a true reflection of just what a great occasion the whole Great Britain representation experience has been.  Whilst typing the above, I have learnt alot about myself in terms of how my mind 'works', about what motivates me, about what is required for me to be satisfied with myself and for me to experience immense enjoyment.  Reflecting on my experience has further strengthened by beliefs that the body and mind are NOT separate identities, they are totally intermixed!  Acceptance of this fact therefore reinforces the need for TOTAL preparation, in order for a satisfying performance to eventuate.  Hopefully within my rather lengthy reflections on a truly amazing experience of running for Great Britain, that there aspects that you can take out and apply to YOURSELF, to assist you in getting as much enjoyment as possible from your trail running!

Time to sign off with some thanks!  Firstly a hugh thank you to the entire GB team that I was part of at Connemara.  In no particular order, a sincere thanks to my fellow runners Allen, Craig, Andrew, Julian, Karen, Adela, Heather, and last but definitely not least Lucy!  Thank you so very much for making me feel such a welcome member of the Great Britain team, even with my Kiwi accent!  An equally huge thanks to Andy for your extremely well organised and totally professional support during the weekend.  Your ability to understand runners, to give them a gentle hurry up when needed, but to respect that runners like to do things often in their own specific way.  Your understanding, your commitment, but most of all your outflowing of positivity was very much appreciated.  To Anne and Norman Wilson, thank you very much for the much work you put in behind the scenes, to ensure that the whole trip runs smoothly.  Without this background work, the positivity and unity within the team, which contributes massively to the success of the team would not be so evident.  Although the race organisers and all of their loads and loads of helpers, are not likely to be reading my blog, but they really deserve the largest thanks of all, as without their huge commitments, the whole tremendous experience described above just would not have happened.  So a hugh thanks to you all.

Well, after making my blog read like a Grammy or Oscars ceremony, it is definitely time to sign off, and to keep tonight's post short, I will sign off without a quote!

From a very satisfied Great Britain International runner, see you at a race somewhere, sometime.  Do say hello.

Thanks for reading,

Stuart